For some, it’s the most entertaining part of the day – a moment of laughter, haggling, and good energy before the wedding party heads to the church. For others, it’s an uncomfortable reminder of times when a woman literally had a price – raising the question of whether this custom even belongs at 21st-century weddings.
Where this custom comes from
Buying the bride wasn’t born as a joke. Historically, it involved real bargaining – the groom and his family would come to the bride’s house, and her father or older relatives would ask for a set price: money, gold coins, gifts, or a symbolic sum meant to show respect for the family “giving away” their daughter. Only once the families reached an agreement could the young couple officially move toward marriage.
The custom was so widespread and taken so seriously that in 1846, Prince Alexander Karađorđević had to formally intervene, issuing a decree stating that “demanding and giving money and gold for a girl is abolished as a custom contrary to human dignity.” In other words – even the authorities of that time recognized that literally trading a woman wasn’t something that should continue.
And yet, the ritual itself never disappeared. It simply changed form.
What’s left of the custom today
At modern weddings, buying the bride has largely turned into a small performance – the best man negotiates with the bride’s family, the price climbs in jest, fake brides show up to “confuse” the groom, and it all wraps up with a symbolic sum, chocolate coins, or a hilariously oversized check for “a million dinars.” No one is actually buying anyone; what remains is the idea that the groom should “prove” he’s earned his bride, with a dose of humor that lifts the energy right before the ceremony begins.
For many couples today, this is a purely theatrical moment – something that connects generations, draws a smile from guests and the oldest family members, and feels like a charming link to tradition without the weight it once carried.
Is it outdated, though?
Opinions here remain divided, and reasonably so. The symbolism behind the custom – that a woman is “bought” and “handed over” from one family to another – no matter how wrapped in humor it is today, still fundamentally carries the idea of the bride as an object of a transaction, rather than an equal party in her own wedding. For some younger couples and guests, that’s reason enough for the custom to feel off, even when it’s played for laughs.
On the other hand, many experience it today completely detached from that historical background – as a folkloric ritual, similar to tossing the “bidermeier” bouquet decoration or carrying the wedding flag, one that has kept its form but lost its underlying meaning. Read that way, it’s more a piece of heritage and entertainment than an actual statement about a woman’s worth.
Realistically, there’s probably no single right answer. Whether this is a charming nod to tradition or a custom time has run over depends a lot on who’s performing it, how it’s performed, and whether the bride and groom genuinely enjoy it – or just tolerate it because “that’s how it’s done.”
The Blanche opinion
Tradition has value when it’s consciously chosen, not simply followed because it’s always been done that way. If a couple wants this moment as part of their day – with humor, with family, with a smile – there’s nothing wrong with that. But if the custom doesn’t sit well with the bride or groom, it’s entirely legitimate to skip it. In the end, a wedding should reflect the couple celebrating it, not a list of expectations inherited from the century before.